We’ve talked about how to tell him. We’ve talked about when to do it. But why? Why is it important for your boyfriend to know? What’s wrong with keeping it a secret? Since he wasn’t involved, why does it matter?

(Let’s assume if you’re considering this question–especially if you’ve read the other posts in our series–you’ve already decided this is a solid relationship with a guy who respects and cares for you.)

Telling him about a past abortion is not for him.

It’s for you.

Yep, being appropriately open about your abortion(s) will help you on a path to recovery.

Do you sometimes feel burdened? Would you rather carry a burden alone or share it with someone who cares deeply for you? In a healthy relationship, partners are able to share burdens with each other.

Could you use help? Someone who truly loves you will want to take care of you and help you to either help yourself or find help you need.

Do you long to be deeply loved? I’m reminded of this quote from New York pastor Timothy Keller:

To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.

Instead of hiding the guilt, shame, fear, or other negative feelings you’ve had about your past, telling your partner may be the breakthrough you need.

If you are struggling to open up about a past abortion (s) or are having a difficult time after discussing your past with your partner, contact Restore today. Recovery support is available for couples and individuals processing their situations and moving forward towards healing.